Subject: Introduction and Goals for Communication Skills Development
Dear Prof Blackstone,
I hope this email finds you well. My name is Francis Toh and I am a first year Civil Engineering student at the Singapore Institute of Technology. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic in 2022 with a diploma in Civil Engineering with Business. This course provided me with a strong foundation in technical and managements aspects of engineering.
One of my communication strengths is presenting technical information clearly. For my final year project, I delivered a presentation to my lecturer on using Python to identify different vehicles types from video footages. By incorporating visual aids and providing a detailed step by step explanation, i effectively communicated the project's purpose and the end results. As for my weakness, speaking primarily Mandarin at home with my parents has made it challenging to organize my thoughts and switch smoothly from Mandarin to English. This has affected my ability to explain ideas clearly, especially during discussions or when answering questions.
Through this module, I aim to address these challenges by achieving 2 goals. First, I seek to enhance my verbal communication skills to express technical concepts more fluently and confidently. Second, I intend to improve my written communication abilities to ensure that detailed information is presented concisely and effectively in technical contexts.
Beyond academics, I am passionate about running and have participated in several half marathons, including the Standard Chartered and 2XU marathons. I also plan to run a full marathon in Gold Coast after graduating from SIT. Running has taught me perseverance, discipline which I applied to both personal and academic pursuits.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your guidance in enhancing my communication skills.
Regards,
Francis
Updated on 20/1/2024, 4:20PM
Commented on Jude's Blog, Tristal's Blog, Aarifeen's Blog.
Well constructed email with your background and goals explained well! The example of your final-year project effectively highlights your ability to present technical information. However, do look out for small errors like using "i" instead of "I" and ensure all points flow smoothly. Including your passion for running adds a nice personal touch. Looking forward to working with you in the industry!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your feedback. I will make the necessary changes.
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ReplyDeleteHello Francis,
ReplyDeleteYour email is really well-written and does a great job of introducing yourself and explaining your goals. I like how you included specific examples, like your final year project presentation it makes the email feel personal and relatable.
There are a couple of small things you could tweak. For example, "i" should be capitalized as "I" throughout the email, and in the phrase "especially in during discussions," the word "in" can be removed. Fixing these little details will make your email even stronger.
It was a great read. Your ability to share your experiences and goals so clearly is impressive. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for your feedback. I will make the necessary changes.
DeleteHello Francis,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your introduction. I appreciated learning about your academic journey and passion for civil engineering and running. Your email was clear and engaging, with strong content that effectively highlighted your strengths. The example of your final year project on Python for vehicle identification demonstrated your technical presentation abilities well, and your reflection on language challenges provided a clear rationale for your goals. The organization was logical and easy to follow, although the conclusion could be slightly stronger with a brief summary of key points before expressing gratitude. In terms of English, there are minor areas to improve, such as capitalizing "I" consistently, correcting "managements aspects" to "management aspects," and removing redundancy in "especially in during discussions." Despite these small issues, your email was well-structured and thoughtful. I look forward to learning with you!
Thank you.
Thank you for your feedback; I truly appreciate it. I will make the necessary changes.
DeleteThank you for your feedback; I truly appreciate it. I will make the necessary changes.
ReplyDeleteDear Francis,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and informative letter. You address the points of the brief with fairly good detail.
I appreciate learning, for example, about your major in poly, and you do mention that this gave you a "strong foundation in technical and managements aspects of engineering." I wonder though when reading this what the genesis of your interest in engineering came from. It would also be useful for us readers to know something, even if brief, about any related work experience.
I really appreciate you sharing about your poly project. That topic, "using Python to identify different vehicles types from video footages," sounds fascinating. It's also good that you thread that within a discussion of the comm skills required.
In the letter, you also mention your passion for running, and I'm happy to know that you've even managed to do half marathons. Kudos for that! It's interesting that you set a link between the "perseverance" required for such feats and the needs that you have in other areas for such descipline.
In terms of your language use, this letter is a very fluent effort.
I look forward to working with you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad